At a Glance

Now, gang, this year we have not had the courtesy of publishing a guest blog till today. Enjoy this article by a writer am proud to call my friend. Ladies and gentlemen, Evans Wambugu.

AT A GLANCE

It is lubbery for a dude to tell another dude ” Nimekumiss”.It is lame
and uncool and gayish.There are several horrid things that a normal
guy shouldn’t say to another eg.”Good Night”,”Umenisahau”,”Umenitupa”

It is also insensate for a man to chat with another a man via texts.A
phone call of let’s say thirty seconds is appreciable.Serving meals is a
no-no too!

*****

When you are amorous,the essential decision to ask a girl out should
be informed.It is akin to a marriage proposal.Going steady is a life
changing step .It is a do or die scenario. A lot is usually at stake.
Forging partnership will be the testament of one’s conscientious
desire and ability to commit to another soul.

*****

I have been telling a couple of my writer buddies that they could
start a student-run publication ,then develop a following. Upon
graduating,they can take their columns to magazines on relationships
and sex and urban culture and they could be offered weekly
features.Their advices will be posted publicly .They could also get
privately paid for replies to those who requested it.To supplement
incomes ,they could also do occassional freelancing for other
publications.

*********

I hail from a small town in Nyeri County.It has a lot of unlettered folks.

I have been working at an engineering firm for a few days now,Though I
am tenderfoot at most of its operations, I have the teremity of
spoofing my way through the schedule.

A few days ago,there is this saponaceous,splenetic spiv who came to
our establishment. He wanted some motors.

He parked outside the premises.He was in a frowzy,black cardigan,gray
faded pants and canvas shoes.He had limpid eyes like those of a soirée
master.

He stormed in and approached my desk.

“Wewe macho nne mko na motors?”he quizzed dismissively.

I disobligingly snubbed his remark and continued filling the crossword
puzzle I was working on.

“Wewe!”He retorted.

I did not respond to him.

“Unadhani hapa ni kwa nyanyako.Kuja userve customer, jinga we we”

One thing I am intolerant to is a disrespectful gobshite.I was so
apoplectic that I told him off.What ensued was a verbal exchange and a
kerfuffle.I lied to my boss that he wanted to steal some valuables.He
had to be whisked out with whip crops and donkey-like kicks and
exerting face slaps.

He left the premises cursing and weeping like a toddler.

My intent wasn’t to scuttle-butt him or humiliate him.It was to teach
a good lesson to those asshats that don’t value respect.Respect is
mandatory.

©Wambugu Evans

April 21,2015

Author: Dennis Peters

When I stare at an empty word document, which is often, my font is always Georgia, size 10, and the feeling constantly is that the cursor is mocking me.

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