Recently, I find my eyes closed a lot of times. It is weird if you think about it, but please hear me out. I close my eyes when I shower, my eyes are closed sometimes when I pee and as if that is not enough, yesterday I was in Nanyuki for some job training and then I realized that my hair did not exactly look like the ‘employed’ kind of hair. I mean, suit was sleek as ever, tie in place, to complement all this, I decide what the hell, let me try a new Nanyuki barber. Men have a rule against trying new barbers, it is unwritten, but it does exist. You can never cheat on your barber with anyone else, not even if you get a job transfer, No! You going to have to travel every weekend from Nyeri to Nanyuki to see your usual barber. That is the rule, I did not make it. It has always been there.
So the barber shop is quite classy, according to my class rating give it a seven. Nanyuki is a small classy town with a lot of ladies, ladies in short shorts, I think it is because it is always hot, or maybe civilization happened there first. White ladies, black ladies, Asian ladies, Brazilian ladies, Curvy ladies all kinds of ladies you feel that are not there in your town, they are there in Nanyuki. Perhaps that is the reason all their items are double priced compared to Nyeri, they charge your fisi ass for staring at their ladies. Alcohol especially is the priciest, I would love to think that this town never sleeps, that when the normal lights go off, the neon ones go on and the party never stops.
So, I am seated in this barber shop getting my hair done and my bushy beard trimmed (hehehe bushy beard), my eyes are shut. I always do that, it is not even conscious, it is a reflex. The moment a guy begins to touch my head, I close my eyes. I cannot really tell what I am always thinking when my eyes are closed but I can tell there are a number of things that go through my mind. So, the barber does his thing, twisting my head in all directions of the compass, taking his sweet time. Forty-five minutes later, I feel my one-night stand barber doing his finally touches so I open my eyes. First thing I notice is the freaked-out expression on the barbers face. The kind that you feel like you just scared the crap out of someone.
Now, let me confess something very private because we are family here, I just do not get men. I am a man myself, but I do not get us at all. I dig ladies, I can tell seventy-one things about a lady from her eyes. A friend of mine will introduce me to his new girlfriend and within the first ten minutes I will have a founded conclusion that this relationship ain’t going to last longer than Kevin Hart against Mohammed Ali in a boxing ring. I dig all kinds of ladies, in fact, if you are a lady and you are reading this, I can hear you rolling your eyes all the way from here. That is how much I know about you. That is something I can brag about, that is the reason I think my favorite town is Nanyuki, but that is a story for later.
So, the barber finally speaks up inquiring an explanation why I have to shut my eyes all through the head encounter (hehehe see what I did, No?). It is then that I began to understand, why we do not switch barbers, we do not switch barbers because the ones we are used to are already acquainted with our demons. My original barber does not have a problem with me closing my eyes when he does his thing, in fact am sure he prefers me to idiots that want to Instagram while he is busy getting rid of their kinky hair. I do not even have to talk to my barber, I just get to the seat, exchange a few pleasantries then get to business. My barber does not ask me about soccer, because he knows that soccer, just like men are things I have no clue about. I love my silence when receiving body services. Okay, body services just sounds so wrong on so many levels. I have not been lucky to get a massage or a manicure for men, not because I can’t, but because am Gikuyu. At my age before civilization, I would be a young warrior raiding sheep and cattle from the Maasais and busy getting ready for my second wife. I like to live within that.
I had nothing to tell this new barber. I had no explanation why I had my eyes shut. He wanted to know if the machine was hurting me or if I was just sleepy, poor guy even probably thought I had been praying. That is when I began thinking about this behavior. Not that it is wrong but it does raise some questions. But honestly, there are a lot of things that occupy my mind I just need darkness to see things clearly. I mean, school is almost over, and you start wondering your place in this vastness. Whether I am one of those miserable guys that get their degrees, spend an entire year looking for jobs then get jobs in nasty companies that put you on a desk the rest of you wrecked life. You begin thinking about the failures that stand between you and your dreams just as the barber is putting the sharp corners at the edge of your forehead. What happens now, what do you have to do to be extra ordinary? During a haircut, you pull yourself out of the crowd and for those forty-five minutes, it is just you trying to get a seat at life’s large hall.
In a nut shell, all I am saying is, times have changed, to get through with the new times, I got myself a new watch. Otherwise, it has been a while, hasn’t it? Am good, am good. Am back though. Mukirivity on Thursdays, and my usual post on Mondays. So, fly like a butterfly, sting like a bee, Yes?
RIP Mohammed Ali.
Feature Image by Mukiri Gitiri