Getting back with Daisy was a mistake but in my defense it was an idea propelled more by nostalgia and guilt than on love and friendship. We had both done so many mistake such that getting them out and trusting each other was a distant impossibility. We laughed and had fun but deep down we repelled like like poles of a magnet. She failed to convince me to trust her and I felt that her mistakes were too much.
Yet we continued dating. Hoping that the magic would come back and spring back life into our drowning souls. The magic never came and we had an even nastier break up than before that involved breaking of furniture, packing of clothes hastily, insults and even getting violent physically. Everything was just lost into an irrecoverable abyss.
All this time, I had managed to keep in contact with Liz and we had become great friends. As friends, I opened up to her, told her things that I had never told any living soul. For the first time in a really long time I found a semblance of peace and tranquility. There was no more doubt, things with Daisy would never work out. I invested heavily on friendship instead. It was late to save my campus grades but I was never really interested in Business, so whatever.
Eventually when I thought myself ready, we got back with Liz, this time with the right ideas and in the right way. It was not without some difficulties, it would not be worth it if it was easy. She inspired me and I really hope I did inspire her.
Campus ended a few months ago and as I toasted to four years it was to the pain, the torture, the missed classes, the heartbreaks, the hard lessons and experiences and to me for surviving it all. As I write this I am at home in Nakuru a fire burn beside me and I am slowly burning my campus books and everything I owned in campus. It is a fire to signify a new beginning and a new era. To meet people and to be fine while they leave.
It is the end to strenuous four years that I would rather die than relive them even a single second. So many wrong things happen to us so that we can have a good story to tell but this is not one of those ordinary stories. It is a story of self-discovery and like discovering diamonds, it could be met by falling stones and collapsing mines.
Maybe I will never get over Daisy and I will always be looking for a Daisy in every girl, even worse, perhaps a relationship with Liz might never work, one thing that is clear as day is that I should have never have noticed a girl in sneakers, and a purple hoodie which matched with her purple tight trousers four years ago. Neither should I have taken note of her side burns or her unearthly glamour.
Love is as beautiful as it is also ugly, the important thing is self-preservation at the end of the line when everything turns to shit.
Feature Image by Mukiri Gitiri