She has these cute cold feet that are always that way whether the sun is on or out, her feet are just cold like that. They do not care whether she sits next to a heater or refrigerator, they just love been cold. Sometimes I make tales about her feet, that when God made her she forgot the heat system in her feet or maybe the electric engineering of her feet lack a switch on button, courtesy of some crappy engineers we are busy training in some of our universities. I always have a reason why her feet are always cold but truth is I just do not get how she’d have such a warm heart and feet as cold as ice.
We had grown fond of each other due to her love for travel and photography and my burning desire for art. The first was a trip to River Sagana. There was this ‘peaceful’ demonstration in school that time and the academics of the school had peacefully broken a few windows and the riot blues were busy chasing them with tear gas demanding for blood peacefully. It was fun but only if you were on the balcony of your bedsitter watching the exchange of words between the two parties down below. She had not been among the two parties but the exchange of words had misplaced her from her hostel room and she could not go back. Long story short, my friend had suggested we crush at my place and thus begun a familiarity that would last a life time. That was October 2014.
Or maybe her tiny pretty feet are always cold because she can transform into a mermaid if she gets into a swimming pool. A tail with gills appears from her waist downward and she can swim at the speed of light. No wonder she always turns down a competition to swim against me. Maybe she fears than she can swim so fast using her aquatic tail fin and beat me ten to zero and I will spend my entire life gnashing my teeth in defeat. She knows my ego makes up for more than 50+1% of my total weight therefore tries to protect it by all means, she digs me like that. I dig her too, just not her cold tiny pretty feet.
If her feet were colder, then they would be curved ice stone, if they were prettier, then the heavens would be jealous, tinier, she would have no shoe size fit at Bata. She says she got them from her mom, and if I had made an attempt to pay dowry the first thing I would stalk was her mom’s feet. Touch them when pretending to pick a mat from the floor so that I can feel if they really are that cold, stare as she puts on her heels and see if they really are that pretty. I know I am weird ladies and gentlemen but tell that to the guy that discovered dogie style (I’ll see myself out *walking emoji*).
So I bought these big socks for her last valentine’s day. These socks my guy Maina told me that you could walk on snow on them and not even feel an ounce of cold – his words not mine. Maina had then described to me how he had supplied those socks to other people, particularly this one lady who lives in a place called Mathari. Maina had described her ass for twenty minutes. Maina is team mafisi. I digress. So these brown cotton socks, I do not know if she puts them on inside the house or while sleeping. I have visited her severally and I turn and tilt my head round the house trying to get a glimpse of my valentine’s present with no avail. Perhaps, that was not the best gift for valentines.
But effort is what counts, I saw a problem and tried to get it fixed, that is project management. Her feet were the project and getting the socks was the management part. Her feet are still usually cold, my project failed despondently. In a nutshell the sky is blue, the ocean is wide, roses are red, violets are blue and her feet are cold.
Happy 20th birthday Mukiri. May you outlive the green grass of Central province, the ego of Luos and the lifespan of Mt Kenya. May the cold feet walk you to places especially to see the Elephants of India and Botswana, I know you love elephants and may your love for photography and travel bring delight to your life, your pretty hands open doors and the rain bring jubilation with each turning season. I love you dearly but then Gikuyu land dictates I do not say that publicly, like some thahu might catch me if I did, like a cold may appear from nowhere and make me sneeze my lungs out if I said that I loved you out in public. But jang’os do it every day, I’m changing my tribe for you baby, ain’t no thahu in Luo land. Otherwise, lunch today? Yes? See you in a while.
Dad, if you probably won’t read this and if you do I’m screwed, but happy birthday too. You are the man I aim to be every day. You are my motivation and with each turning year I watch with admiration as my siblings and I take over your traits. You are the reason when the sun in my life goes down, I will keep calm and watch it rise the next day to fill my day with bliss and good mojo. Kate Njenga is getting you a book you have been talking about I do not know the author for your birthday but at least I stole a secret for you. Me I ain’t getting you nothing cause you got me nothing too and because it is the middle of the month, my wallet is thinner than a sewing thread. But tutaongea tu, we’ll talk, we’ll talk, Yes? Happy Birthday!
Happy Jamuhuri you guys, I’ll see you around, Yes?